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Official lottery partner announced

Arseblog News is delighted to announce that Fred Dipthong from Letchworth has become our official lottery partner. Fred (57, pictured below) will go out once a week and buy £10 work of quick-pick lottery tickets with the aim of making us so obscenely wealthy that we can run this website from hammocks whilst being swarmed by puppies. Dipthong has bowel problems, but hopefully not lottery ball problems After a difficult and lengthy recruitment process, Dipthong was chosen for his studious nature and his aversion to picking the same numbers every week. 'That's a mug's game,' he told us. 'Imagine one week I don't make it to the shops, perhaps I get hit by a car or I hear Piers Morgan on the...
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